Every couple has disagreements. For some, it’s money disputes; for others, it’s a lack of a sex life or a habit of frequent squabbling. The coronavirus pandemic has introduced a new potential stressor: more time spent at home together, which can worsen tensions or reveal latent flaws in a relationship.
Therapy can be beneficial. Contrary to popular belief, it is not about pointing fingers or determining who did what or who is to blame. Couples counseling, on the other hand, teaches you how to communicate and ask for what you need. As a result, you might explore marriage counseling in NYC.
Why Couples Get Divorced?
A couple normally divorces for more than one reason (which is why percentages for answers add up to more than 100%) and those reasons are frequently linked. Extramarital affairs, for example, are more likely when people have other problems in their marriage, and communication problems worsen concerns like money disagreements. Another aggravating element is that couples frequently dispute about what precipitated their split. Thus, look for a life coach for marriage counseling to seek help.
Common Reasons Why Couples Need Marriage Counseling
1. They’ve Grown Apart
After years of marriage, some couples no longer communicate with one another and instead coexist as roommates. Divorce rates peak at different times. It’s about avoiding rather than battling. They may share a home but lack connection and intimacy. Distance like that might last a long time as individuals busy their lives with other things, pushing aside their loneliness or desires. They gaze at each other after retirement or when the nest is empty, wondering, “Who are we as a couple now?”
Couples frequently forget what brought them together and why they fell in love in the first place. Couples counseling in NYC might help rekindle that spark.
2. They Lack Commitment
Lack of commitment came out on top in various studies where people were asked to choose from a list of reasons for their divorce. (In one study, up to 85% of participants answered this answer.) Interestingly, another study found that lack of commitment was also the reason couples were most likely to agree—even though one spouse frequently blamed the other for not working more to repair the marriage.
When someone is held responsible for the problem, lack of commitment might seem hazy and difficult to demonstrate (or disprove). That’s probably why so many people refer to a lack of commitment as a major cause of divorce—they perceive it as the issue underlying a variety of more visible problems. Thus, search for a divorce coach in New York and get consultation from the best ones.
3. Communication Problems
Around 50% of participants in several studies mentioned poor communication as a factor for divorce, such as arguing too often and not being able to talk to each other. Again, communication issues can be the root of other grounds for divorce, such as disagreements about money and family duties.
It’s easy to develop these issues when you’re constantly arguing with your partner. Even if the confrontations aren’t as frequent or as heated, keep an eye out for recurring debates about the same topic or differences that never seem to be addressed. That could be an indication that you need help learning how to communicate more successfully with each other, such as via couple counseling.
4. Have clashes on Money
Money has always been a source of contention for couples but adds to that the additional late-life concerns that baby boomers have — probable health issues, fewer (and fewer) years of earning capacity, not to mention low interest rates — and you’ve got a recipe for financial strife.
Conflicts may arise as a result of different spending habits or differences over how to save for and spend retirement. There could be anxiety about not having enough money or disparities in how your nest egg is managed. It is possible to feel strong emotions such as rage, anxiety, or envy when dealing with financial issues. Therapy helps people understand their relationship with cash and how it influences their perceptions of themselves and others.
5. Extramarital Affair
Being cheated on by someone who swore to be faithful to you for the rest of your life is a terrible pill to swallow, and most people believe it is an unforgivable act. Infidelity does not always result in divorce, but it certainly harms your perception of your partnership. It has been discovered that 15% of married women and 25% of married men have had an extramarital affair.
Cheating does not always imply physical infidelity. Being secretive and hiding anything is an emotional betrayal. As a result, it’s best to try counseling now rather than deal with the consequences afterward. And if one of the partners has already had an affair, there is always a route back. A third of married couples survive an affair, but they are usually the ones who seek treatment and make every attempt to save the marriage.
In Conclusion,
Regardless of the difficulties that married couples endure throughout their relationship, the likelihood of divorce decreases as the length of marriage grows.
Furthermore, tools such as marriage counseling, relationship education, and family law therapists help couples resolve disputes and create successful marriages before divorce becomes inevitable. Dr. Sonia Sharma is one such counselor. She is a licensed life coach who also does media appearances and offers marriage counseling nyc, virtual life coaching, and Hindi-English classes.
